


We Tried That (it didn’t work)

by ShadowsOffense



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-11
Updated: 2015-04-11
Packaged: 2018-03-22 07:09:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3719785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowsOffense/pseuds/ShadowsOffense
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For every one who wondered why the Templars didn't just arrest every non-circle mage buying mage specific gear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Tried That (it didn’t work)

Knight Captain Cullen and Knight Commander Meredith stood on the other side of the enspelled glass, looking into the little room as Sers Talia and Ivan questioned the... suspect. The Knight Captain’s stomach was in his shoes. He had been so sure this shop-trap would work, but this boded ill. He winced as the, as _that woman_ , shifted on her stool in such a provocative manner that both her questioners blushed.

“Look,” Ser Ivan stammered, trying to look away from breasts that strained against fabric never meant to hold them. “We caught you buying magical paraphernalia, Miss, er?”

“Isabela.” The woman smiled, shifting again. “Magical paraphernalia? Wait,” her eyes widened. “You mean that long, hard staff, Sweet Thing?” She practically purred the question, blinking innocently up at him as she sucked on her lower lip. Ser Ivan’s face went scarlet. “I wanted it the minute I felt that warm, firm shaft in my hands. It’s just the thing to help me get around Sundermount, don’t you think? The coast here is so hilly.” 

“You expect us to believe you bought a magical focus as a walking stick,” Ser Talia growled flatly.

The woman laughed, abandoning her sultry ‘innocence’. “Magical might be going a bit far, don’t you think? I know all men are attached to their staves, but that’s no reason for you to buy into it.”

Cullen wanted to bang his head against the glass as both Knights blushed again. The suspect had tested negative for magic, and while Cullen was thinking that they might have a desire demon abomination on their hands, this was clearly getting them nowhere. He sighed.

A recruit cleared her throat behind them. “Sers!” she saluted as they turned. “We caught another one.”

“Excellent,” Cullen smiled, eager to redeem himself. “Lead the way. Ah, with your permission, Commander?”

He winced, but Meredith merely raised an eyebrow and inclined her head. 

They followed the recruit down the hall, to the processing room... where a Dwarf undergoing magical testing. Cullen’s jaw dropped.

“What in the Maker’s Name are you doing?” he bellowed.

Just at the moment the door to the outside opened and two more recruits lead a third prisoner inside. 

“Brother Sebastian?” Cullen whispered, hollowly, looking from him, to the Dwarf, to over his should where Isabela’s ‘questioning’ was taking place. He dropped his face into his hands with a groan. “Just let them go, let them all go.”

* * *

Outside, Isabela frowned at her friends, all three of them holding identical staves. “I told you we should have compared gifts! Just think how embarrassing it would have been if we had all given her the same thing!”

Varric chuckled. “Under the circumstances, I’d say it’s a good thing we didn’t!”


End file.
